With an eye’s blink, I turn 40 this year. Wait, some of you may not believe it. Well, you’re right because my current birth date was distorted a couple of times. First, my father made it in 1982 for him to remember it easily. Second, our academic or local authorities recognized it as only 1981, so they could accept my junior high school registration! After all, I don’t think age would matter much to me, as long as I remain alive, valuable and, of course, happy! If you look at my 2019 memoir, you’ll find my takeaway on a non-linear life. I still find this true even for years to come. But it causes us no harm taking some retrospective into 4 decades of my existence, doesn’t it? And I’ve come to prioritize these values above all, in many stages of my life.
1- Respect Takes Equal Treatment
My young age was marked by my top scores in class, out of an uncle’s motivation and my guilt of losing. Somehow, along the line, I gained some respect this way. Later in “volunteer” years, I realized that my recognition of other people’s strengths would earn more “lasting” respect. If I treat anyone any less than me, that would imply some self-insult. Why? Because I have fallen into this mental trap many times and learned to see people in question the other way around.
2- Trust Rhymes with Mutual Faith
Subconsciously infected with “high performance attitude”, I would doubt my colleagues’ ability to solve problems of my size. Many a time, I tended to micro-manage their progress, as a double-edged knife. Insecure ones may feel intimidated and scared away to work with me. Confident ones may stick with me, hopefully to share “our” vision. Through some hard realization, I’ve learned to set aside those doubts as to give myself more inner peace and other people more freedom to go their way. After all, they will come back to me if they’re meant to!
3- Loyalty Requires Single-Minded Commitment
As you can see so far, my sense of insecurity keeps growing so stronger that it even affected my relationship. I once questioned the loyalty of my significant one, out of jealousy. Actually, looking back, we were both to blame. It was just that I took a step back and let her back into my life. Reason? It was just my evil judgment over her casual comment. Oddly enough, this has manifested in my business life a few times since 2015. The latest one happened last year, which I prudently tolerated, as an ultimatum. Some lines should be drawn or I would end up victimized again and again!
4- Self-Worth Beats Insecurity
2015 probably signaled my lowest turning point, affecting both my financial and marital cores. That was the year I bit more than I could chew, expecting my team “mates” to support me. Yet, this sense of social comparison hit me so hard that my spirit kept me off track for a few years. Those years, I called my “humblest” as I needed to relearn some old way of life. Meanwhile, I kept my chin up for better days. In late 2019, “guided meditation” has re-aligned my “ego” from relying on people around me to “mastering my own mind” instead.
After all those active years, I came to conclude that the base of every healthy relationship is friendship because it’s been built on reciprocated respect, trust and loyalty. I’ve thus called myself lucky to retain some partners, friends, customers, family members that way. Now I don’t need that many “unnecessary” opinions to prove my worth, because, up to this mid-life, I somehow know I am enough 🙂 And it’s been just “my way” like in this favorite song of mine!
PS: Hit me up at Contact if you feel like catching up and growing our next stages of life… together!